Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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