walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
