Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
