So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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