you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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