Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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