im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
