I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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