I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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