Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize