Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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