distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
