Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
