If that was your dad, he is hot
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
