it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
