So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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