How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize