his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
