im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh god it's open bar.
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