either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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