Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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