Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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