I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
