found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
