hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
