She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
they're like a gay fantastic four
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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