His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize