Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
