Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
