Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
