I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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