Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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