This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
