census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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