im holly from the hills drunk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
