I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
