I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
