I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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