Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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