is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
