and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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