On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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