How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
