The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
