Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
