I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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