she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
