every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
