This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
