I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
