His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
