I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
