i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
