lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
