I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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