happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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