thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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