i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
