one might say we're banned from that church
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
