hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let's paint friendship bongs
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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