I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
