Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
