Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
