I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
