If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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