shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
