The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
